Where I seriously wanted to dress my kids up in their Sunday Best and put them out on the curb with a fancy sign that says FOR SALE. And when I mean FOR SALE I mean cheap, as in clearance at Target, cheap. D.I. cheap. Or better yet, FOR FREE cheap.
Although the fancy sign and dress clothes might throw some people off.
(Scratch the fancy sign, but leave them in their church clothes. Nothing like faking out future prospective parents.)
I hope I am not the only mother that feels like this. If so, I either need to find someone better suited to raise these animals, or get on a stronger Happy Pill, if you know what I mean.
I am tired of my lovely's bickering and fighting nonstop from the time they put their feet on the floor in the morning clear until the time they finally fall asleep.
I had one of those, Mother of The Year moments and actually grabbed a bag of M&M's out of the pantry, sat comfy on the couch and told them to gather around. I invited them to go ahead and beat the Doo-Doo out of each other, while I spectated. "If I have to listen to it, I might as well be entertained." The Costco sized snack was just a perk--kinda like popcorn at the movies. The thought of charging admission and inviting the neighbors over has even crossed my mind.
They decided to change their tune and became friends again after about 2 minutes. Something about me shoving my face full of M&M's helped persuade them to quit the ARCH ENEMY stuff. Whatever works, I say!
To reassure you, (and the Child Protection Program in our little town), the children are happy, safe and sound in there beds this evening. And I might add this DISCLAIMER....No one was hurt or injured in the making of this parenting miss-hap.
Tonight, I did numb the motherly pain that plaques me with a trip to the store to get needles. (Sewing needles, and not drug needles, just in case you were confused. The pain wasn't THAT bad.) The checker made my day and offered me a 15% Discount if I wanted to be a Senior. I have never been more pleased to be a GERIATRIC! I took it the measly discount and shuffled out the door.
Then a as if the M&M's on the couch weren't enough, I splurged on Cold Stone, ALL...BY...MY...SELF. It was good. REAL GOOD.
Happy Halloween!
13 years ago
2 comments:
There must be something in the air. I think my kids were afraid of me the other day...for good reason! Just think...in 3 weeks we get to spend all day EVERY day with them!
I really miss hanging out with you! Trust me, our 2 kids are not little angels either...not even close actually. How many times a day do we have to tell Dean to get off of Dawson as his arms are around his neck and laying on top of him! "When he is screaming, that means you're hurting him!" Help me Rhonda! As Michael Jackson would sing, "You are not alone" :)
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