WHAT THE FREAK? SERIOUSLY? YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME? AND...I REALLY MEAN IT!
July 7, 2010 edition.
1. This morning, someone gave me THE bird. I was involved in a little road rage on the way to Wyatt's last T-Ball game. Long story short. She was an impatient idiot that needs a happy pill. I honked back, as if it showed her who was boss. Take that crazy woman driver.
2. Wyatt slid into home plate. It was the most hilarious thing I have seen in ages. As he hit the plate with just the very, very tip of his rubber soled shoe, he looked like he was stretched out, relaxing under a shady tree. We were in hysterics. Good hysterics. I am still kicking my own butt for not bringing my camera. He has some seriously grand moves.
3. I witnessed Wyatt asking some adorable Asian people if they were speaking Spanish. I thought they were going to die laughing. He did make the most of it by asking them to teach him how to say "Hello." Unlike Wes when he gave another shopper the 3rd degree about her tattoos. Maybe she didn't recognize his "I am disgusted at you, I have no social scruples, I am only 3 and tattoos are vile" face. That face brings me back to the time I left a rotisserie chicken in the fridge for a few days too long. It made our house stinky and Wes let me know it. We also saw a cute NUN at Winco. Luckily she was out of ear shot. My kids have watched Nacho Libre a few too many times. "My favorite color is light tan, my favorite animal is poopies, I like serving the Lord. Hiking, play volleyball."
"You have got to be kidding me....Everything you just said is my favorite thing to do. Every Day!"
4. My car is comparable to my house last Monday night. I couldn't take it one more second. We went to the car wash. After spending a good 15 minutes vacuuming out a rodent's year supply of crumbs, Whitney informed me that she rolled down my drivers side window. It is broken. (It rolls down like a champ, but takes a week to come up. I am talking 2 inches, by the way.) In order to save myself and my precious cargo from a serious disaster,I decided to take embarrassment to a whole new level and back out of the stupid car wash. It was hideous. At least my kids didn't need life preservers as we drove around town. Remember, Wes doesn't swim. I'll let you know when the window reaches the top.
5. Wes disappeared for a few minutes this afternoon. He was found in the front yard crouched down by one of our Lindon Trees with a flippin' Hatchet. Um, Yeah. Like an AXE. A heavy sharp object. He said he was "choppin." I seriously swore. (Luckily, the tree went unharmed and him of course. I prefer him will all 10 fingers and ten toes. Although, I cannot guarantee that this tree HAS NOT been urinated on by the same child that tried to chop it down. Peeing while neighbors spectate is really a nice touch.)
6. My mom (bless her soul) sent me an adorable note that was attached to a flier she had received my mistake in the mail. The flier was an advertisement for a snazzy lighted tool to aide medical professionals in removing foreign bodies (like food, buttons, bugs, rocks, toys or LEGO'S) from where things like that are not meant to be. For example, NOSES. She was trying to helpful. I although felt otherwise when I heard her cackling. She wants Jeff to order one of these tools so that the next time one of our children are playing with their LEGO'S and get the ingenious idea that being a
Bull would be pretty fun, we will be able to remove the little LEGO pieces that have been shoved up into the nostrils with a little more grace. What is the use of being a Bull without the cool ring hanging in-between the nostril's anyway? Mom, hopefully Wy has learned his lesson. Thanks for thinking of us! :)
Until Next Time.
---JJ
