Update from Negative Nancy.

It is February.
It is cold.
It is dreary.
My house is wreck.
My laundry is about to eat me alive.

[Jill, this is for you and remember I am a cropping wizard! Objects in this mirror are a lot larger than they appear.]
I have 4 kids. (Just Kidding.)
I am consuming copious amounts of Diet D.P.
And for that fact, so are my kids. They are sneaky buggers.
I am addicted to chocolate and am contemplating swallowing a tape worm. (HA HA)
My accomplishments during these days resemble a paraplegic's.

I am ready for some sun and a maid and (maybe) a tape worm.

Ridiculous

1. My blogging habits. Good gravy!! January is more than half over and I have yet to update loyal readers (all 2 of you) on Christmas, Thanksgiving and maybe even Halloween. Here is a bonus to tide you over.
Duhn..Duhn...Duuhn....
Halloween 2011!

We are a few Viking helmets short of our whole ensemble. Walker and Whitney have a hairy vest as well, they are just not as enthused about wearing them 24/7 like Wyatt and Wes. My mom and sister Jill found these hideous $60 vests on sale for a whopping $12! Dragon Trainers unite!
(Only Debbie Downer complaint however about these crazy things is being successful at finding and removing the stray pieces of fur that stick to Wes' tongue while make-believing.)

2. The treats Jeff buys for our kids on their bi-weekly date with Dad to the gas station. THIS was yesterdays. A plastic toilet filled to the brim with sour candy that you can dip your plunger shaped sucker into! Sick...I think I just threw up in my mouth.

I think this little "treat" has now earned it's place in the dictionary under the word VILE. Jeff now officially has toilet duty from now until the end of time. My corneas are scarred and am going to have nightmares that include my children licking plungers.

...Speaking of corneas, mine are healing nicely and I am no longer blind. On the 6th, my Dad and brother Jared shared with me one of their amazing perks from being great eye doctors. Lasik in Boise, ID. I am 2 weeks out from receiving the most amazing gift! Although, I did not have a glasses stomping ritual after the procedure, I gave my old glasses with a deformed temple (they got a little close to my flat iron) to charity. I am just giving like that! :) I am however best friends with saline drops about 20 times a day, and find myself reaching for my glasses in the morning. Weird. Our ward family members are going to sing Maybelline's praises on Sunday when they finally see me again with eye make-up. It has been a little creepy.

3. The time it takes for the annual after Christmas gut-out. I shamelessly have our trees in the family room downstairs still up. I have been deep cleaning other places in this rat hole and have neglected that little corner of our world. I have however NOT neglected the D.I. this month. They have gotten their share of Johnson crap. But remember "Even small donations bless many nations." The show Hoarders has helped (and horrified) me immensely. We hopefully have blessed the whole continent of South America. It feels so good. I will keep you posted on the Christmas trees that are still shining.

4. Our local Elementary School's teacher's aides. Don't get me wrong, they are truthfully saints that are going straight to the Celestial Kingdom for putting up with the riff-raff (my kids) that goes around, but this story is going to keep us laughing through this dim winter months.

Older Boys at Recess: Hey, Wyatt. Do you want a donut?
Wyatt: YEAH!
Older Boys: Just kidding, we are not going to give you one.
Wyatt: (Huge sad face with a lip that is sticking out and meeting the Texas border)
Teachers Aide that was listening to the whole conversation: Wyatt, why don't you do that face again and say MAMA.
Wyatt: No! (If my kids were the swearing type, which, they better not be, I am sure he would would have said HELL, with that NO!)
Teachers Aide: Oh Wyatt, some people are just so fun to tease.
Wyatt: Some people are just so fun to punch people in the face!

Needless to say, after being tormented and then making a bad verbal move, he had to park himself on the wall for the rest of the recess. Ahhhemmmm.

5. The amount of Off-White #22 Guterman thread this old girl goes through. I have been coping, and thoroughly enjoying myself in the process. I have not blogged about my quilting obsession, and I need to do it, and in a timely manner. I also have not kept track of my total for the year 2010. Just for safety's sake DO NOT ask Jeff for the bottom line in our Quicken account, under the category "JaNae." He will run for the nitroglycerin, and then mutter while rolling his eyes, "my wife is happy and that makes me happy!" (And don't forget it!)

Here is one of my recent faves. (front and back)

 

 

Jolyn and Dan now call this theirs, and I couldn't be more pleased.

I love THIS little blog and my current WIP looks a lot like this one. My kids are going to love it, as will I...of course!

Goals... for Today

The Official After Church Conversation....

Jeff--- Put up the Christmas Train
JaNae---Make some Christmas Candy in honor of my amazing Grandmother.
Walker---Go on a cruise before I go to college
Whit---To be kind and paint my toenails
Wyatt---Go to someplace really cool like Guam
Wes---Live in the ocean

The Bulimic

I am a binge blogger.
You all know that it is true.

I am sure my family (mainly my Mom and Sisters) are just a'rearing to disown me or even worse kick my trash. Life is busy and most of the time so out of control. Time is going by so fast.

Anyway, it is time for a purge....'cause binge and purge go together. Gross.

Wes had a run in with his little ski mitten, while at the park with Jeff.

 

"It was not comfortable"
(When things are not comfortable for me, I totally rip then to shreds too.)

Wyatt as a First Grader cracks me up. He is taking off as a with his reading and writing. When he comes home from school he happily takes his homework out of his bag to finish it quick. Yesterday however "just for fun" he happily sat at the table for hours practicing his numbers. His paper fit 444. Whew! (He may or may not have missed #410. :)
If I only could get that kind of motivation with him and a dusting cloth or toilet brush, we would be set!

 

I love to listen to him read and love even more the way he sounds out words and writes them down. He especially likes to read with his Australian accent. He is still however trying to come up with a new way to speak English in Cursive. Ahem.


Whitney is my Miss Project aka...Let's make another mess that needs to be cleaned up before I can have dinner.
Her latest.... A Nutty Santa who rides on a Nutty Sleigh with a "little" Hot Glue and Pipe cleaners on the side.

 

And Walker, as of last week is a Dare Graduate. We DARE him to keep off drugs, or we will put his fanny in sling.

 

He loves 6th Grade and we are elated that he is still at the little Grade School down the hill. His teacher is amazing and has the patience of JOB.

And for the miracles of all miracles I made dinner with vegetables that had a minimum of complaints. I am in such a recipe rut.
THIS soup hit the spot.
Although, I cut the butter by much more than half, and only used half of the half and half. (Is that enough half's for you?)
No need to be a (Blogging) Bulimic too.

Happy Halloween

From our back porch to yours!

 

 

Mad

This little man woke up madder than a wet hornet.
He had a BAD dream.

Something about a delicious sandwich that he made with his OWN hands....
His sister (heaven forbid) ate it before he could get to it.

It took him awhile to warm up to Whitney before she left for school. She said she would be mad too if someone ate her sandwich.


He cheered up when he remembered that today was a school day. Show and tell day at school to boot! He is going to take his screwdriver.

Do you hear that?

Well, me either.

That my friend is silence!
The kids are officially back to school.

I am quickly gathering up my Marbles.
They were scattered and lost this summer.
It is going to be heavenly to have them back where they belong.
In.
My.
Head.